This article, written by me while I was an undergrad at Columbia University, was originally posted on the Columbia Witness (formerly Columbia Crown & Cross) blog. 谷歌AI的中文翻译在英文文本之后。如果中文翻译违反任何IP知识产权，请在评论区提出，我会删除中文版本。
In the first month of my sophomore year at Columbia, I was in a cult. But I will admit that while I was in it, I loved it. I was first invited to join a bible study by a friend of mine in the second week of school. Seeing how much more passionate and happy they were compared to when I last saw them right before summer, I immediately attributed this change to this bible study and agreed to give it a try. I eventually started to attend their weekly dinners and gatherings, participated in their Sunday services, and was witness to a baptism.
Every day I was moved by their passion for God, and I was impressed by how confident they seemed when explaining the teachings of the Bible. Every time they texted me to ask how I was doing spiritually, I was moved by the sense of accountability they had with one another. I was included in all the activities and was cared for and loved by every member. After a lonely freshman year and a spiritually dry summer, I felt that I had finally found a place where I could belong. I looked to them for spiritual guidance and companionship, and even just one week after joining, I became proud of how godly I had become compared to how I was a week ago. I felt good.
Things changed after I had conversations with my ministry fellow at my campus ministry and with my high school homestay parents, who are also devout Christians. As I shared my findings and my passion with them, they expressed concerns about the format of worship and baptism and the core idea behind the group’s teachings. The baptism I witnessed was actually a second baptism because the group believed that, instead of baptizing believers to the Kingdom of God, they need to baptize believers to their church for it to be counted as true baptism. They also believed that faith alone does not save you; instead, you need both faith and work. That belief is against the very core teaching of Christianity that Jesus, the perfect man and God, who sacrificed Himself for us, is sufficient to redeem us from our sins and that we, as sinful human beings, can add nothing more to this salvation through our own work. And that is when I realized that I needed to leave.
Goodbye came very difficult. It felt like a betrayal. During the time I was involved, people in the group treated me like family. I was inspired by their passion and truly wanted to pursue God from the bottom of my heart. I could not understand why such God-loving people could cling onto false teachings so firmly. I could not understand why they refused to open their eyes to the true teachings of God.
As I reflect more on my experience and as I hear more stories of fellow Christians who shared similar experiences as myself, I gradually realized ways in which the group preyed on my loneliness and my desire for God. Although I still think that many in the group did not prey on my feelings intentionally, I understood that their teachings are sly twists to the truth, and their strategies are designed deliberately to attract Christians like me. These are signs that told me that they are indeed a cult, or a religious group that denies one or more of the fundamentals of biblical truth.
They first preyed on my loneliness. No Columbia student should be unfamiliar with the feeling. Columbia’s campus is just the perfect petri dish that brews and nourishes this loneliness. If it were not for my bible study leader and her ability to recognize false teachings, and if it were not for my host family who loved me enough to rebuke me, I would have fallen for the false teachings. But there are many who do not have Christians around them to guide them. They are lonely, they feel excluded, and they would be content in any community that gives them a sense of belonging. Once kindness is shown to them by some group, they could potentially forget to examine whether the teachings of this group are true or not.
They were also able to incite my love and desire for God and then prey on my insecurity in my knowledge of the Bible. At first, I thought there could be no harm in attending another bible study besides my current one. Isn’t it that for God, the more the merrier? The answer is not always a simple yes. Before Jesus left the disciples after his ministry on earth, He had already warned them of the danger of false teaching, “[even] from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them” (Acts 20:30). So it is not the case that I should join any bible study without discerning what is true from what is false.
False teachers have the power to lead Christians astray, and they have many ways to justify themselves and twist the meanings of the word of God to serve their interests. After I realized the false teachings in the group, I prepared for hours what to say before I had to sit down and talk with its leaders. Though my homestay parents warned me not to argue with them theologically, I still tried to explain my rationale, only to learn that my effort was indeed futile. When I tried to use Ephesians 2: 8-91 to argue that it is through faith alone that we are saved, they managed to dismiss the passage completely and jumped to passages such as John 8:31-322 to back up their point that only faith and obedient work combined can grant salvation. In reality, they never really understood the true meaning of the verses but chose what they wanted to see from the passages without referring to context and rushed into conclusions.
In fact, Peter warned us about this kind of interpretation in his letter: “[Paul’s] letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction” (2 Peter 3:16). He also asked Christians to guard their hearts for these teachings. It is ironic that if I had no interest in pursuing God, I would not have fallen into this group’s trap. It was when I had the heart for God that I was drawn to the group that seemed to share the same, if not stronger, passions. And it makes me furious how a pure motive to pursue God can be used for such a destructive end.
I believe that many friends in the Christian community can empathize with me and add to this list of patterns. I have also heard talks about the danger and the strategic teachings of a cult. However, even to this day, I still believe my friend’s sincerity in inviting me to join their Bible study; I am still moved by their passion for God. Yes, they chased after wrong teachings, and yes, they brought me much pain, but they did do something right–they poured themselves into each other and to what they believed to be the truth. In the months after my involvement in the cult, the questions I asked the most were: Why isn’t my own ministry like this? Why does it seem to me that only groups preaching false teachings can have so strong a community and such passionate love for God?
What I saw in the cult was their constant desire to meet with one another and pray with, encourage, and rebuke one another. I also saw an unquenchable thirst to do God’s will and learn God’s word. Though they were wrong at their core, their actions showed how genuine they were to become the disciples they thought God had asked them to be. Also, they never failed to make everyone feel included. Everyone seemed to be an active and indispensable part of the whole.
It burdened my heart when I realized that I could not observe the same kind of passion and love in my own Christian community. For example, during my freshman year, there seemed to be a clear line that separated the “cool” friend groups and the outsiders in my Christian fellowship, and as a result, some friends and I found it really difficult to feel included. Many started to drift away. Now that I think about it, the drifting away was a result of many of us only treating the fellowship as a social club. The relationships built within it were not that much different from the ones built in other clubs. We rarely prayed for one another or kept each other accountable. Each member of the body did not care so much for all the other parts of the body.
Of course, it is vital that we teach the right understanding of the Bible so everyone in the community can be fully equipped against plausible false teachings. But we should not stop at knowing the necessary arguments. In order to have a more robust system to fight against groups that preach false teachings, we should strive to build a community that does a better job than any other non-Christian communities at loving, supporting, and praying for one another, a community that is deeply rooted in truth, with each one of us passionate about pursuing God.
Last year, a friend in my Christian fellowship shared with me the many times he had to sit in a classroom alone, waiting for someone to show up to prayer time, only to be eventually disappointed to see that no one showed up. Sadly, I was one of those who did not show up. Columbia is a busy place, but a Christian community should be a place where we encourage each other to leave a spot for God in our busy schedules. The author of Hebrews had taught us to “ consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together,.., but encouraging one another” (Hebrews 10:24-25). Ultimately, all campus ministries are communities centered around God. We exist not only to provide a place for social bonding, but a place where God’s teachings can be reflected in each and every one of us, and in our interactions with each other.
Yes, I loved the cult. But I only loved it because through them, I saw the possibility of a truly passionate and loving Christian community that is rooted in the correct teachings of God. And I believe that this community is fully achievable. Over the past two years, I have seen many good changes happening in my campus ministry–many people who drifted away became most involved, and the ones who seldom showed up to prayer meetings turned into the ones who seek people out to pray. Now, when I think about what it is like for a Christian community to be strong enough to face any challenges from false teaching, I always think about Paul’s teaching in Romans–“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:9-10). It is therefore my hope that one day, with all members in our Christian community showing love and honor to one another, no Christian would ever need to look to cults for a sense of belonging and a heartfelt desire for God.
1For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast (Eph 2:8-9)
2So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
以下为谷歌AI生成的中文翻译。作者本人未做任何删改。
在哥伦比亚大学大二的第一个月里，我加入了一个异端组织（Cult）。但我必须承认，身处其中的时候，我非常热爱它。大二开学第二周，我的一位朋友邀请我参加查经班。看到他们与暑假前相比变得如此热情和快乐，我立刻将这种变化归功于这个查经班，并欣然同意去试一试。最终，我开始参加他们的每周晚餐和聚会，参加主日崇拜，甚至见证了一场洗礼。
每天我都为他们对上帝的热情所感动，也为他们在解释圣经教导时所表现出的自信而印象深刻。每当他们发短信询问我的属灵状况时，我都被成员之间那种互相负责、彼此守望的责任感所打动。我参与了所有的活动，感受到每位成员的关心与爱。在经历了孤独的大一生活和属灵干渴的暑假后，我觉得我终于找到了归属之地。我向他们寻求属灵指导和陪伴，甚至在加入仅一周后，我就为自己比一周前变得更“属神”而感到自豪。那种感觉很好。
直到我与校园团契的同工以及我的高中寄宿家庭父母（他们也是虔诚的基督徒）交谈后，情况发生了变化。当我向他们分享我的发现和热情时，他们对该组织的敬拜形式、洗礼方式以及核心教义表达了担忧。我见证的那场洗礼实际上是该成员的“第二次洗礼”，因为该组织认为，受洗不应只是受洗归入神的国，而必须受洗归入“他们的教会”才算真实有效。他们还认为，唯独信心并不能救你，你还需要信心加上行为。这一观点背道而驰于基督教的核心教义——即耶稣作为完美的人与神，为我们牺牲，其救赎足以赦免我们的罪；而我们作为有罪的人类，无法通过自己的行为为这份救恩增添任何筹码。就在那时，我意识到我必须离开。
告别是极其痛苦的。那感觉就像是一种背叛。在我参与期间，组织里的人待我如家人。我曾被他们的热忱所激励，真心实意地想要追求上帝。我无法理解为什么这样热爱上帝的人会如此紧紧抓住错误的教导不放，无法理解为什么他们拒绝睁开眼去看上帝真正的教训。
随着我对这段经历的更多反思，以及听到其他基督徒分享类似的经历，我逐渐意识到这个组织是如何利用我的孤独感和对上帝的渴望来“捕食”我的。虽然我仍然认为组织中的许多人并非有意利用我的感情，但我明白他们的教义是对真理的狡猾扭曲，他们的策略是专门为吸引像我这样的基督徒而设计的。这些迹象告诉我，他们确实是一个“异端”，即一个否认圣经基本真理的一个或多个核心要素的宗教团体。
他们首先利用了我的孤独感。 哥大每一个学生对这种感觉都不陌生。哥大的校园就像一个完美的培养皿，滋生并供养着这种孤独。如果不是因为我的查经组长有辨别错误教义的能力，如果不是因为我的寄宿家庭足够爱我并对我提出责备，我可能早就陷入了错误的教义中。但还有许多人身边没有基督徒来引导他们。他们孤独，感到被排斥，因此只要有任何群体能给他们归属感，他们就会感到满足。一旦某个团体向他们展示了善意，他们就有可能忘记去审察这个团体的教义是否真实。
他们还利用了我对上帝的热爱，进而利用我在圣经知识上的不自信。 起初，我认为在现有的团契之外再参加一个查经班并无大碍。对于上帝的事，不是越多越好吗？答案并不总是肯定的。耶稣在结束地上的事工离开门徒之前，就已经警告过他们关于假教导的危险：“就是你们中间，也必有人起来说悖谬的话，要勾引门徒跟从他们。”（使徒行传 20:30）。因此，我不应该在不辨别真伪的情况下参加任何查经班。
假教师有能力误导基督徒，他们有许多方法为自己辩护，歪曲上帝话语的含义以服务于他们的利益。在我意识到该组织的错误教义后，我准备了好几个小时，思考在与他们的领导层坐下来谈话时该说些什么。尽管我的寄宿家庭父母警告我不要在神学上与他们争论，我仍然试图解释我的理由，结果发现我的努力确实是徒劳的。当我试图引用《以弗所书》2:8-9[1] 来论证我们是唯独通过信心得救时，他们竟然完全避开这一段落，直接跳转到《约翰福音》8:31-32[2] 等经文，以此支持他们的观点：只有信心加顺服的行为才能获得救赎。事实上，他们从未真正理解经文的真义，而是断章取义地截取他们想看的内容，仓促得出结论。
事实上，彼得在他的书信中就警告过这种解释方式：“（保罗的）信中有些难领会的地方，那无学问、不坚固的人强解，如强解别的经书一样，就自取沉沦。”（彼得后书 3:16）。他还要求基督徒要为这些教导守护自己的心。讽刺的是，如果我没有追求上帝的心，我也许就不会掉入这个组织的陷阱。正因为我心向上帝，才会被这个看起来同样热忱、甚至热忱更甚的群体所吸引。想到纯洁的追求上帝的动机竟会被用于如此毁灭性的结局，我感到无比愤怒。
我相信许多基督徒朋友都能与我产生共鸣，并补充更多类似的模式。我也听过关于异端的危险及其策略性教导的演讲。然而，即便到今天，我仍然相信我朋友邀请我参加查经班时的真诚；我仍然被他们对上帝的热情所打动。是的，他们追随了错误的教导；是的，他们带给我许多痛苦；但他们确实做对了一件事——他们全身心地投入到彼此的关系中，投入到他们所认为的真理中。在离开后的几个月里，我问得最多的问题是：为什么我自己的团契不是这样的？为什么在我看来，似乎只有传播错误教义的群体才能拥有如此强大的社区和对上帝如此炽热的爱？
我在那个组织里看到的是他们渴望不断聚会、互相代祷、鼓励和责备。我还看到了一种对遵行神旨和学习神话语不可磨灭的渴求。虽然他们的核心是错误的，但他们的行动表明，他们是多么真诚地想要成为他们心目中上帝所要求的门徒。此外，他们从不让任何人感到被冷落，每个人似乎都是整体中活跃且不可或缺的一部分。
当我意识到在我自己的基督徒社区中无法观察到同样的热情和爱时，我的心感到沉重。例如，在大一期间，我的团契中似乎有一条清晰的界限，将“酷”的朋友圈和局外人隔开。结果，我和一些朋友发现很难融入，许多人开始离开。现在想来，这种流失是因为我们许多人只把团契当作一个社交俱乐部。在其中建立的关系与其他社团并无二致。我们很少互相代祷，也很少彼此监督守望。身体的每个肢体并不那么关心其他部分。
当然，传授对圣经的正确理解至关重要，这样社区中的每个人都能全副武装，抵御看似合理的错误教义。但我们不应止步于掌握必要的辩论。为了建立一个更强大的系统来对抗传播假教义的群体，我们应该努力建立一个比任何非基督徒群体都更能彼此相爱、支持和代祷的社区——一个深深扎根于真理、每个人都热衷于追求上帝的社区。
去年，我团契的一位朋友跟我分享，他曾多次独自坐在教室里等待祷告时间的开始，结果却失望地发现没有人出现。令人难过的是，我就是那些没出现的人之一。哥大是个忙碌的地方，但基督徒社区应该是一个我们在忙碌日程中互相鼓励为上帝留出空间的地方。《希伯来书》的作者教导我们要“激发爱心，勉励行善。你们不可停止聚会……倒要彼此劝勉”（希伯来书 10:24-25）。归根结底，所有的校园团契都是以神为中心的社区。我们的存在不仅是为了提供社交联结的场所，更是为了让上帝的教导能在我们每个人身上，以及我们彼此的互动中得到体现。
是的，我曾爱过那个异端。但我爱它，是因为透过他们，我看到了一个植根于上帝正确教导、真正充满热情和爱的基督徒社区的可能性。并且我相信，这样的社区是完全可以实现的。在过去的两年里，我看到我的校园团契发生了许多积极的变化——许多曾经疏远的人变得最投入，那些很少参加祷告会的人变成了主动找人一起祷告的人。现在，当我思考一个基督徒社区如何才能强大到足以面对假教导的挑战时，我总会想到保罗在《罗马书》中的教导——“爱人不可虚假。恶要厌恶，善要亲近。爱弟兄，要彼此亲热；恭敬人，要彼此推让。”（罗马书 12:9-10）。因此，我希望有一天，当我们基督徒社区的所有成员都彼此展示爱与尊重时，没有任何基督徒需要再去异端组织中寻找归属感和对上帝的真挚渴望。
注释：
[1] “你们得救是本乎恩，也因着信；这并不是出于自己，乃是神所赐的；也不是出于行为，免得有人自夸。”（以弗所书 2:8-9）
[2] 耶稣对信他的犹太人说：“你们若常常遵守我的道，就真是我的门徒；你们必晓得真理，真理必叫你们得以自由。”（约翰福音 8:31-32）
